Blog # 4

We enshrine the self as the unit of ethical account, separate and distinct not just from the natural world but even from a sense of obligation to others--not just others in future generations, but increasingly even to others in the same generation."

Five things that I did today that made me feel obligated to another human, I’ll start with the abstract. First, I ought to be thankful to the people who have created the clothing that I’m wearing today, tomorrow and so forth. If I didn’t appreciate their skill and talent and I didn’t feel somewhat committed to acknowledging this fact
that they actually put effort into making my clothes. The material is good quality and comfortable, with a nice fit.

Second, when I got off the ferry this morning I went to McDonalds and there’s a man who’s always there to open and close the door for people and although I didn’t feel the action was necessary, I politely replied “Thank you!” … Well I didn’t want him to think that I’m rude. Was he really holding the door to be a gentleman? No, he wanted me to put some coins in the cup in his hand. We are all out for self (I’ll explain that later).

Third, yesterday I missed a business call and the message said to call them back when I received it. Since this is what they were expecting and I didn’t want them to perceive me as someone who lacks good follow-up skills, I felt obligated to return the call.

Forth, due to unavoidable circumstances, I was told that my son couldn’t return to school until he had a certain medical form filled by his doctor. The director of the school then told me that if I were to get a note stating that his appointment is coming up he could return. I felt obligated as a responsible mother to take care of that with a sense of urgency.

Lastly, While I was waiting in line to use the computer today. I would have much rathered walking up to any computer and doing what I need to do. Well I couldn’t do that because I must follow the rules.


So the question is: Why are we so “I” fascinated? I believe it is just the way we’re programmed to think. It is the animal inside of us the makes us think “Me”, “I”, “what I want”, “what I think” etc. It’s like we say “Me first and you later” in order for us to step out of this paradigm and way of thinking it takes time, self-training and alteration. But first before all this it takes place, one must realize this way of thinking and probe beneath the surface. The majority of us think of ourselves before we do others; it’s either done directly or indirectly, but it is always linked to ourselves one way or another, deep in the root of our true intensions.


I’m not trying to change your opinion on this. I am only aiming to open your mind to a new thought. Here is how it was presented to me. A few semesters ago I took Intro. to Philosophy and the professor said to us “Each and every one of you are selfish”. We all were confused thinking “what?!”. Then she explained that even when we claim to want to do something nice for someone, it also plays a part in what can we can out of it. We are always looking at every situation from all angles seeking hot to benefit. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean when I say this. Let’s say you see an elderly lady trying to cross the street by herself and you being the nice person that you are, rush over to help her. When you’re done you walk away feeling like “Well I did my good deed for the day!” Good right? Let’s probe a bit. Look at the word “I”. It’s like you only helped the woman to do a good deed.


You’re out shopping for yourself and you see a shirt that you know your new friend would like. You buy it. You may think to yourself “ Ill get this shirt so she will see that I am a sweet, generous, thoughtful friend.” you wanting to make a point to her. Or maybe you’ll say “Ill get the shirt because I think she looks nice in this color”. Again there’s that “I” word. No matter how you twist it and turn it, some way shape, or form it pops up.

I’m sure you get the point. Or at least I hope I did give you some interesting food for thought. When the professor taught us this I was like “WOW”!!! I found myself more aware of my true intentions and always probing to find ways not to crash into “I”. I did this for a long time until I came to the conclusion for self that it’s almost impossible and if I did find a way, I wasn’t being true to myself. With that being said, I’ll sign off with my signature “The Truth Hurts. Can you handle it?"